After the birth of my son, Waylon, I realized a completely different part of my life had begun. You see, when I found out I was pregnant I mostly worried about how my ass would look in maternity jeans, how many days, hours, or minutes it would take me to get back to pre-pregnancy weight, and which lotion was really the best at preventing stretch marks.
As my pregnancy progressed, I accepted that I would probably never look exactly the same as before, and I now know that working on other things about yourself can transform you into one pretty mama!
I made it my mission to educate myself in the best and most natural ways to feed, clothe, wash, care for, clean, and transport my new family. While I’m learning, I invite you to share in my experiments, laugh at and learn from my mistakes, and tell me a few of yours!
I’d like to share with you my birth story written by my husband, for it was this experience that has lead me to pursue the best ways to become an educated, aware, compassionate, artsy, natural, healthy, and pretty mama!
Cheers-
Natalie
Birth Story (according to Stephen)
Monday Night - Natalie’s contractions were getting stronger, we ate dinner and went to bed around 11pm because I had to be at work early.
Tuesday Morning (3:00 a.m.) - Natalie was up at 3am, she was getting up and then coming back to bed frequently. When she didn’t come back to bed for a while I went to find her…that was around 4am. Natalie was in the tub, timing her contractions. I took over the timing and we noticed they were about 5 minutes, then 4 minutes apart, getting stronger. I had to go to work early, around 7am to make a phone call to Egypt, so at this point we were debating whether to go to the hospital. Natalie called her midwife and told her how far along she was and how far apart the contractions were. The midwife told Natalie it would be reasonable for her to come to the birthing center. The birthing center was about an hour away, which in rush hour DC traffic might as well be Egypt, and now it was already around 5:30am. We definitely wanted to beat traffic, so I loaded up the car with our pre-packed labor bags and went back to get Natalie, fully expecting to be sent home from the hospital for not being in “true labor.” I asked Natalie if she was ready to go and she said, “I can’t move right now, ASSHOLE!” That was her only mean outburst during the entire experience. So I let it slide. When that contraction was over we got in the car and headed to the Birthing Inn, in Leesburg, VA.
On the way to the hospital (6:30 a.m.) – Natalie sat in the back seat and I drove cautiously but quickly. Natalie was having contractions every 3-4 minutes so she would sit up and press her arms and head against the back of my seat and then lay down once it was over. I think she even slept a little between the contractions, or she was ignoring me when I checked on her. My boss called to tell me I didn’t have to make that early call to Egypt, “Oh yeah, Egypt,” I thought, as I told her I was just headed to the office before heading to the hospital. When I explained why we were headed to the hospital, she was cool with it. I played with the radio and tried to find Natalie’s favorite wacky morning dj show, the one where they call a suspected cheating spouse and tell them they’ve won flowers to send to the person they love the most who is always the person they are suspected of cheating with…anyway, unfortunately I found it, but when i couldn’t stomach the hilarity anymore I found a really great Bluegrass station. First they played some slow gospel-y stuff and Natalie was fine with it or didn’t notice (Natalie normally likes Bluegrass), but when the next song was a more swinging up-beat banjo driven tune, Natalie sat up quick and exclaimed, “If you don’t change the station I’m gonna FU@*ING PUKE!” So I did and she didn’t.
At the hospital (7:30 a.m.) – When we got to the Birthing Inn there was nobody there to check us in so we went through the security doors right to the triage area for Natalie to be checked out. They buzzed us in and took us to an examining room. Natalie didn’t want me in there while she was poked and prodded so she sent me out to get our stuff from the car, which i left running right outside the big waiting room doors. As I hurried outside another young couple was coming in, but she looked waaaaaaay more pregnant than Natalie. I grabbed our bags and rushed back in. While I was waiting outside the examining room I overheard the nurses saying, “I can’t believe it, she just got here and she’s already 7cm, we’re putting her in a delivery room.” I thought they were talking about the other couple, still thinking we were in false labor, but by the time I even thought that, they were wheeling Natalie off and I was following. The nurse said, “You’re gonna have a baby.” I’d heard this before, but mostly in my own head as a self-doubting question.
In the delivery room (7:45 a.m.) - The room was very nice and so were the nurses. Our midwife, Courtney, was on her way and the head nurse asked Natalie a barrage of questions which she answered in between contractions. I helped answer the questions too, “Epidural?” Natalie: “No!” Me: “I might like one, what are the side effects? Hey-ooo! Inappropriate? Next question.” “Any allergies?” “Peanuts and Shellfish.” “History of depression?” “No” “Current medications?” “None” “Dietary restrictions?” “Vegetarian (we later found out “Vegetarian” does not disqualify fish from a new mom’s prepared meals) “Drug use?” “No” “Alcohol?” “Sure, Gin and Tonic and keep ‘em coming! Hey-ooooo! Still nothing? (I instantly found out there is no humor in the delivery room). “Epidural?” “Still NO, Natalie wants to do this as naturally as possible.” To which the nurse replied, “I’m so proud of you, Natalie, we never, NEVER see that…but how about an Epidural?”
Then they told us they normally hook expectant mothers up to an IV, but Natalie refused because she wanted to be able to move around and she did not want any treatment that was not absolutely necessary. So no IV and then we found out no water-proof mobile baby monitors either. So they hooked up an old-school attached monitor and the baby was fine. Natalie on the other hand was increasingly uncomfortable and really wanted to get in a warm bath, so I began drawing the water and our midwife, Courtney, showed up. She did a quick examination of Natalie, Natalie told her that her water had not broken and that she wanted to get in the tub. So Courtney asked about the mobile heart monitor and the nurses said they had one on the way. She also asked if we wanted the lights dimmed, which we did, but had forgotten in the madness of things. Natalie’s midwife knew we wanted as natural a birth as possible, and she was very helpful in making that happen. So she dimmed the lights and put a hand held lantern in the bathroom by the tub. By the time the bath was ready, the mobile monitor arrived and Natalie got in the tub.
In the tub (8:15 a.m.) – Natalie was a lot more comfortable in there. The midwife, Courtney, left us alone and I helped Natalie work through the contractions the way I’d read about and seen other soon-to-be fathers assisting moms, pressing on her lower back, keeping her forehead cool, answering both phones as they continuously rang for mother updates. Our friend Andrea was on her way and supposed to be in the delivery room during the birth but was stuck in traffic. She was headed out from Arlington, so while I helped Natalie, I was also helping shepherd Andrea toward the Birthing Inn in Leesburg. After about a half hour, Courtney checked back in with us and we reported the progress of the contractions. Natalie’s water had still not broken but Courtney wanted to check her to see how far along she was. She asked if Natalie felt like pushing…Natalie told her yes but was fighting that urge.
Out of the tub (8:45 a.m.) – After examining Natalie, Courtney said she was now 9.5cm dilated. Courtney asked Natalie if she wanted her to break her water. Natalie said, “If you want to you can.” I don’t think she had heard that response before, she was visibly taken aback, so she asked in a different way and told Natalie that if she broke her water, she could start pushing. So Natalie decided to let her do it. The lights were nice and dim, and as different people came into the room, the head nurse would tell them that Natalie was having a natural birth. The response was always the same, disbelief and then encouraging words for Natalie. “That is so great, we never see that, you are our hero.” But in a very sincere way.
It was around this time I noticed that there were now three nurses in the room in addition to our midwife, Courtney. I think two of them just wanted to see a natural birth. Once her water broke, Natalie sat up straight and said, ”Now I want to push!” Then she turned over to have the baby on her chest and knees. One of the nurses asked Courtney if she wanted Natalie in a different position, but Courtney told the nurse that however Natalie was comfortable was fine. I can’t overstate how great Natalie’s midwife, Courtney, was. Natalie wanted a natural birth more than anything, Courtney knew that and she helped Natalie have it when I think some of the nurses would’ve rather just given her some drugs, turned up the lights, laid Natalie on her back and pried the baby out of there…factory style. Of course, there is no single right way to have a baby, that is for every expectant mother to decide. Having a natural birth is not superior to medical intervention. But because natural birth is so rare in the U.S. nowadays, Courtney was exceptional because she defended Natalie’s wishes and made it ok for Natalie to have the experience the way Natalie wanted it.
Labor (Before 9 a.m.) - From the time Natalie got into the car until Waylon was born, Natalie was in a sort of “birth trance.” She was there mentally and she would answer questions and talk, but she had this calmness and introspection I can only describe as trance-like. From my perspective she seemed to be doing whatever her body was telling her, answering to nurses and cooperating with them, but ultimately having her own birth experience. She was breathing slowly and very calmly, preparing for the impending labor, in what I perceived as another state of mind. This “birth trance” could probably be its own story. I bring it up only to remember how generally peaceful Natalie was about the experience. Until she started screaming, at which point the “birth trance” turned into a “get this baby out of me trance” but equally in tune with what Natalie’s body was telling her to do.
When Natalie began pushing, her midwife and three nurses encouraged her the whole time. I positioned myself, standing to Natalie’s right side, just between her shoulders and knees. As Natalie worked through her pushes I performed the massages we had practiced and held her hand. Then the room phone rang and one of our spectator nurses picked it up and told the front desk that no one could come in now. We later found out it was Andrea, who we wanted to be there for the delivery. She had taken off school, but had missed the window to get in the delivery room by minutes.
Birth (9:37 a.m.) – As the labor progressed, Natalie’s strained groans turned into all-out screams. Between pushes, Natalie would sit up on her knees and take little breaks, then bend back down for pushes. One time between pushes Natalie sat up, looked back and asked “How much longer?” Courtney said, “Very soon, you’re doing so well.” Then the one nurse again asked if Natalie would like a different position, but Natalie insisted she was comfortable on her chest and knees. Our midwife and nurses were encouraging Natalie, first saying they could see his head, then telling her to use long steady pushes. After one particularly intense push, Courtney told us his head was out and apparently that was the hardest part. Natalie asked, “Is he ok? Is he ok?” And the midwife reassured her he was. Then Natalie gave a couple more pushes and Waylon Porter was born. I was in awe. Then our midwife said, “Time to cut the chord Daddy…Daddy?” And I said something like, “Yeah, I can do that,” in a kind of trance of my own, made my way over to my son, cut his umbilical chord and welcomed him into the world. The umbilical chord is blue and very dense and that’s completely normal, according to the midwife. Natalie again asked if he was ok? And I told her he looked perfect.
One of the nurses took him to warm him up and clean him up. Apparently he wasn’t breathing as well as they would have liked, so they cleared out his nose and throat with one of those squeeze bulb things and then with this string thing. They said he probably took a big gulp of fluid before he was born and it was nothing to worry about. Natalie delivered the placenta while I was over with Waylon. Natalie wasn’t too into seeing the placenta, but I checked it out and it wasn’t as gross as I thought it would be…it’s actually pretty amazing the more you think about it.
Then the nurse gave Waylon to Natalie. I know she loved him at first sight…she loved him before that. He didn’t cry much at all and they were still concerned about his breathing so they took him to the nursery for oxygen and I went with him. I stayed in the nursery with him while they performed some procedures, then they told me i had to leave but that they would bring him to the room when he was ready and inform us if anything changed. That was good enough for me and I wanted to check back on Natalie so I kissed Waylon a couple of times and headed back to Natalie. When I got back to the delivery room, Natalie was gone. Apparently, Natalie amazed everyone when a half hour after delivery, she walked down the hall to the maternity room with our friend Andrea, who was finally allowed into the room just minutes after the birth.
Once Waylon’s breathing was stabilized they returned him to us and he looked a lot pinker and happier. Then we just hung out in the room and talked about the birth experience…we’ve been talking about it ever since. It was the greatest experience of my life. Natalie was amazing, I love her and Waylon more than anything.
Posts
